Ya, gw emang bukan penulis yang sangat sangat bagus atau gimana. Post curhat banget.
p.s: gak suka, silahkan gausah buka postingan ini. thanks

Bilang gw lagi menemukan lagi, kondisi orang berubah sangat berubah dan gw gak suka. Kalo yang dulu gw dah biasa; gw gak bakal ribut, banyak omong, dan gw diem aja. Tapi nyatanya BANYAK dari antara mereka asik sendiri, sampe di satu titik- gw gak tau harus ngomong apa sama mereka. Udah ga nyambung sama sekali. Bukan gw bermaksud lari dan gak berusaha bergaul, pernah mikir gak sih sama...

"lu gatau mau ngomong apa, karena lu gak tau topik apa yang mereka omongin. mau join? Untuk sementara men! Pasti balik lagi sama keadaan semula, jadi buat apa? sama aja tujuan kosong."

capek kan? Berharap lebih tapi gak dapet apa-apa? Sama kayak apa yang gw alamin sekarang sama kebanyakan orang. Ampe di beberapa bagian pun masih ada yang begini juga. Perlu d jadiin moto hidup ya, yg d Tumblr. "Forever alone"? gatau kan, karena kalian gitu = gw narik diri. gimana caranya kalian ngasih gw kesempatan untuk cerita hah, kalo semuanya pada sibuk sama masing2? Gw sayang kalian tapi, gw gak bisa diem terus lama2. Ampe perlukah gw caper supaya kalian nengok? :"(

mungkin gw harus belajar mengasihi lagi. atau ya, gw gak dewasa, gak apalah. faktanya, balik lagi gw yang capek, butuh waktu. apa daya? Ada yang bisa jawab keraguan gw, kebingungan gw, kekesalan gw? Mengasihi emang gak pernah gampang, situasi kayak gini emang mungkin gw pamrih ya, mengharapkan semuanya bakal baik lagi sama gw. tapi tolong 1 aja, 1. I need somebody to lean on. stop.

I've tried to hold on, it's just too much Pa. Anything else should I ask You for? none. right? You've given me much good things. What should I pray again? How I just wish to get real deal of this Pa :(

age matters? Is that it? I'm out. Perfection? Fame? Keeping up with trends? Being-extremely funny? What other criteria? I am just me. I cant take it much now. You dont know what I've been through. No one knows. No one.

Dadorable

:) just want you to know that... I have an adorable dad.
*me rushed to the toilet around 8 am, after another short snatch of sleep. then I'm back to room*
dad:" ce, kenapa gak sekolah, sayang?"
me: "sakit... buang2 air blom berhenti"
dad:" yaudah, istirahat, udah minum obat blom?"
*shaking my head,since I havent take anything yet*
dad:"maa, itu si cc ada gak obatnya, minum apa?"

<3 aww dad just so you know, that was sweet. sorry if sometimes I am silly and impolite to you

sickerypost

umm hi. I was typing this because hardly sleep. I am sick today, blame tummyache. Maybe I've eaten something wrong or very very, indeed restless. So after PE, I was feeling dizzy and really want to puke. So at math lessons, I went to clinic and had a short nap. After English, i started to get headache again and feeling something is not right. I directly went home *too bad I couldnt taking pictures of beevolution :( * At home, i started go to the toilet couple of times. Indigestion happened. It was terrible. I even couldnt and didnt study add math nor physics seriously cause I'm affected with that tummyache.

And I was sleeping peacefully, but not at 3..... a.m, I woke up and rushed to the toilet. emergency need. It was totally killing me, then I tried to sleep again cos I felt my body is weak. And my maid came to wake me up, and another tummyache attack and couldnt help it but spend a looong time to let out those bacterias and indigestion. couldnt help it! back and forth to toilet all day long :(

Hope it keeps getting better, :( spend my day arranging my iPod, even reading further more on alcapone, going to the toiletsss and LOTs of sleeping. I'm bored. I was tired when my stomach rambling and should rush to the toilet. I lost my appetite, and I ate soup all day long. :( Papa heals me later. maybe will skip tomorrow's school as well. If I have gotten healthier will definitely come to school and also visit closing ceremony of beevolution.

GBU! *i was typing this cause I;m bored and couldnt sleep*

well today was, uhm, okay. I dont sing, I dont dance, and I'm not stealing things. How can I forgot to bring home my geo book. I remembered clearly, I took it out from locker! Dont say I put it back AGAIN with bio and add math book --'''''

i've been planning to sleep early, and i think the time has come :P oh well, 2 days left before, i got my "extra" salary. HUAHAUHAH!


not to mention, I'm being emotion-less. But you know, I keep up with trends, but trends dont last long. what remains is style and taste. Well, I've been listening again to simple plan and Good charlotte, I found that, Welcome to My Life song by Simple Plan, represents the dark days of teenagers. or not to mention young adults. You will NEVER ever ever guess, and know what we feel inside. We might be strong, but dying inside. I quoted this from yuri's page on FB and I always remembered that.

Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anybody."

- Mark Twain

I have lots of this dark side, no one knows. I might have done wrong, but I'm human after all. Sometimes, we just need a place to scream. but the best part is having someone stands behind you, all time. :) Thank U! couldnt ask for more, Dad

Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just dont belong
and no one understands you
**
No you DONT know what is like
when nothing feels alright
Dont know what is like
to BE like me
-Welcome to my life. Simple plan.